For every memory, there is loss, and for every memory, there is hope.

This appears to be a very simple statement but it has taken me nearly 40 years to truly understand it. For me, this statement means so many different things, but mostly, it reminds me of all my friends that are war veterans.

I have worked with many of our World War II, Korean War and Vietnam War veterans.  I have had the pleasure of knowing the best of the best.  The honor, love and loyalty these men and women possess have taught me more than anything else. They have shared their stories with me and let me in to a place within each of them that has not been seen by many others. Through their choked back tears, I found a strength that would not have been possible if it wasn’t for their experiences. They have taught me that through heartache come strong lessons, lessons that will make us stronger than we ever thought possible. Larry used to tell me, “Half the lesson is learned at the moment you decide to pull up a chair and sit down!”

Larry was barley able to stand on his own, his body broken and hunched over because of the shrapnel still lodged in his back from serving our great country in World War II. I saw his physical pain every day and how his body wouldn’t allow him to do the things he wanted.  I also saw the strength he had in his heart and the self-dignity that hung on his shoulders. I am still to this day amazed that his physical pain never did overcome his will to teach others of self pride and self forgiveness.

Claude. Mr. Blue Eyes, as I call him. An easy-going, quiet man that walked with a shuffle and stuttered when he spoke. Claude did not talk much others, he spoke through his eyes and his body language. He, like Larry, had served his country in World War II. Claude suffered all of his adult years with a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s through his family that I found out Claude had reached this point after carrying six of his deceased friends out of a jungle one by one as shots missed his flesh by inches. After I was told this, I started to see Claude more clearly. I learned with Claude that touch was his way of showing me his heart. Every day I would shake Claude’s hand as he came out of his room for breakfast. I kept doing this every morning until one day he finally looked up at me and smiled, and I was able to see his big beautiful blue eyes!

“Good Morning Claude, SIR!” I said with a mischievous look on my face. Claude, looking down, smiled and shook his head.  Claude sits down next to Larry at the breakfast table and looked at his dry corn flakes, a piece of toast with butter and a tall glass of orange juice. “Why are you just sitting there?” Larry asks. “What are you waiting for? It will never be steak and eggs so forget about it.” Claude slowly looks up at Larry and replied, “I’m just waiting here for heaven, just like the rest of you.” Larry’s eyebrows raised, his mouth dropped open and he turned to look at me. We both stared at each other in amazement for what felt like a lifetime.  We both looked at Claude and we all burst out in a laughter that could be heard on the other side of the world!  Claude had finally found his place at the table! ‘Ole Mr. Blue Eyes had made his point and was ready for his breakfast.

Claude and Larry became very good friends. They sat next to each other at every meal. Every morning as they sat down for breakfast, one would say to the other, “Waiting for heaven again huh?” It sticks out in my mind as if it were yesterday, the two of them silently giving to each other what they needed most, a friend.

Claude and Larry both passed away several years later. Larry first, then Claude. It was heart wrenching for me to watch Claude give every ounce of what was left in him to try to hold on to himself. I prayed each day that Claude would pass soon and peacefully and that he would not hurt any longer. Two years after the day Larry died, Claude finally received his ticket to heaven. I remember it was 4:30 a.m. on a Thursday morning and a coworker had called me to tell me that he wasn’t going to make it long and that I should come right over if I wanted to say goodbye.

I was able to be with Claude during the last few minutes of his life, very precious minutes that I will forever hold in my heart.  His eyes were closed and his breathing was slowing and I bent down next to his ear and said, “It’s time for you to go now, when you get there, tell Larry how much I miss him and you both save me a seat at the table. I am still waiting for my turn in heaven.” I gave him a small kiss on the forehead and I watched as his spirit slipped away.

I tried holding back my tears so that I could do my job but the feeling I had in that room with Claude was so overwhelming I could not. I felt a peace that I cannot compare anything to except for the birth of my children.  My heart was breaking but my soul was rejoicing.  I washed Claude’s face and combed his hair, and fixed his bed to look appropriate for his family.  Even though he was gone, I wanted him to look peaceful and blissful — and he did.

I realized many things that day. I realized that Claude gave me and only me the last few minutes of his precious life. He gave me a chance to be with him when it most mattered. He gave me a new perspective on death and a way to be at peace with it inside myself.

Claude and Larry were the first of many of my war veteran friends to pass away. Each one of them has shown me the inner strength that we all have in us. I learned from them that they did not just fight a war for our government; they were fighting for something bigger. They believe in using their strength for the greater good of all people. The wanted to fight for something good, they wanted to stand for something that would help our world become a better place and teach others how to use their inner strengths. These men and women paid the ultimate price in one way or another and were able to hold their heads high in pride knowing they had done something great for mankind.  They didn’t ask for riches, fame, pity or even a spot in the local news paper. They gave the best of themselves to all of us for generations to come, because they believed in something higher and bigger than us all.  This generation is slipping away from us and it pains me beyond words to watch.  I will do my part to pass on their stories and memories with my children in hopes that they too will want to make this world a better place for all people. I hope you will do the same.

It is nearly impossible for me to write down all the stories my veteran friends have shared with me over the years.  Some of their stories will remain in my heart only because I am not yet ready to share them with the world. I keep them locked up in a special place inside me so that they are safe and they are just mine.

Thank you to all of our current Military and all the war veterans that are still with us. Thank you to all the families that have also paid the ultimate price along the way and for the support you give every day. Thank you to my friends that have since passed away, I salute you and hold you dear to my heart. To all of you that make “waiting for heaven” a little easier, thank you…..

Update June 29, 10:14 a.m. - Letter from the Mayor to Santaquin Citizens

SANTAQUIN – On Wednesday night the Santaquin City Council voted to ban private firework use throughout the city, joining a long list of cities across the state of Utah that have placed recent bans and restrictions on fireworks.

As six wildfires burned through different parts of Utah, the council adopted an ordinance to prohibit all firework uses other than “professional pyrotechnic displays at community sponsored events”. Utah has already banned fireworks across the state, although incorporated towns and cities can enact their own regulations.

“Basically, what Santaquin’s ordinance does is mirror the state ordinance which gives the provision to tighten firework laws in stages,” said Santaquin Public Safety Director Dennis Howard.

The council decided to move Santaquin to a level 3 stage of firework use across the entire city. While some cities have adopted partial bans and area-specific regulations, Santaquin joins other towns like Woodland Hills and Cedar Fort who have issued citywide firework bans.

“If anyone is using fireworks they will be issued a citation and the fireworks will be confiscated,” said Howard. “First citation is an infraction, the second is a Class C Misdemeanor.”

The extremely dry conditions of the area have caused concern among city officials. In the ordinance it states, “the extreme fire hazard conditions, caused by current climatic and meteorological conditions, have placed all areas in and around Santaquin at great risk for fire.” A stricter ordinance banning all fireworks, even city celebration fireworks, could be considered depending on weather conditions.

“It’s kind of precarious right now because Goshen, Payson, and Salem have sent their tanker trucks out to help with fires,” said Howard. “We’re the only fire agency on the south end of the county that still has a tanker that can respond to our own needs.”

There have already been more than 400 wildfires across the state, at least 380 which were human-caused. Smoke from the Woodland Hollow and Oak City fires poured over the mountain ranges east of Santaquin throughout the evening.

Santaquin resident Tony Knapp said he understands the city’s decision to ban fireworks. “It’s needed for this year,” he said. “There have been a lot of homes lost to wildfires.”

He said citizens around town aren’t afraid at this point. “I don’t think there’s a level of fear,” he said. “I think people realize that fires can be dangerous and cost people a lot of money.”

Operators of a fireworks stand in the Payson Walmart parking lot are weary of the dangerous conditions and the effect fireworks bans will be on their business.

Justin Judkins, of Spanish Fork, and his family are running a TNT fireworks stand this year to raise money for their son’s church mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They were unaware of the current firework ban situation in the area.

“It’d be devastating for the business,”said Judkins of a full firework ban in the area. Payson City adopted a partial restriction on firework use, prohibiting fires and fireworks around the mouth of Payson Canyon.

Santaquin City also announced that it would cancel the annual ATV Poker Run as part of the city celebration.

Howard pleaded with citizens to be careful this summer.

“Please be mindful of the conditions,” he said. “Resources are stretched to the absolute limit.”

Fireworks restrictions are listed by municipality at http://publicsafety.utah.gov/firemarshal/RestrictedFireworksAreas.html .

In order for you to understand why I write my stories, you must know a little about me. I want you to know that I share my experiences with you not only because of how they make me feel, but also to give you the tools you may need in your life in order for you to become the person you want to be. My experiences come with lessons. It has taken me many years to welcome and trust that these have been given to me in order to help me become the person I want to be in my life.

For me, my teachers and mentors have mostly been the elderly and the handicapped populations. I am still not sure as to why this is. I have learned not to question it. I embrace these lessons and I always look forward to the next one.

I grew up in a home with my mother and step-father. My mother, loving and wise and my step-father, controlling and prejudiced towards everyone and everything. It is through my mother that my heart remained open to people.

My mother has worked with handicapped people for over 30 years. When I was very small she would sometimes take my brother and I to work with her. Back in those days she was the boss and it wasn’t uncommon for children to visit with their parents while they were working. When I would visit my mother’s work, there was always a man and a woman there that my mother would take me to visit. Although they have both been gone for many years, I still remember them like it was yesterday.

Alan was a very overweight man that dressed only in Coverall’s and a white t-shirt. His speech was slurred and I had a hard time understanding him. It seemed to me that he was always in a bad mood, according to the expression on his face when I would first see him. My mother would take my brother and I by the hand and walk us over to see him. It used to scare me. As soon as Alan would see my mom, his face lit up like the fourth of July! Oh yes, I instantly knew, he loved my mother!

Cevey was another one of my mother’s patients that I was taken to visit. She was a very short, tiny Hispanic woman with a grotesque under bite. It was hard for me to understand her when she spoke. She also frightened me. Cevey would come up to me, inches from my face, and carry on about how cute I am! (I assume this is what she was doing because at the time I could not understand her. It was only through my mother’s translation that I knew what Cevey was saying!)

My mother always brought Allan and Cevey treats when we would visit. Allan loved coloring books and farm animal story books. Cevey loved candy! Without fail, mother always had a special treat for both of them.

As a small child I was only able to understand a small part of the reason my mother did this for them. For a long time I thought it was so they wouldn’t hurt us while visiting! Kind of like a peace offering!

It wasn’t until I met Grace 3 years ago that I would truly understand why my mother loved Allan and Cevey so.

Grace was born in 1934. There were complications during her birth. The umbilical cord was wrapped around Grace’s neck for several minutes until two doctors were able to free it, thus causing brain damage.

Today, Grace appears physically normal. She has thick white hair; she is short, like me and dresses in jeans and a colorful t-shirt. I met Grace while doing my monthly clinic at a senior center. She came up to me to introduce herself. The first thing I saw was her smile. She has a glow that radiates off of her. I told Grace my name and to my surprise, she threw her arms around me and said, “I’m happy to meet you Charity!” I was somewhat in shock at her excitement to meet me.

Grace sat as I soaked her feet to trim her toenails. She told me all about her life and about the precious dolls she had ay home. Grace did not have any children of her own and because of this I believe this is why she has so many “babies”. Grace lives with her sister and has a room that is solely for her dolls. She has named everyone one of them and knows exactly what each one is wearing and where they are “sleeping” when she is gone. Grace has named one of her dolls “Charity”. Grace tells me every month, “Charity doll and Grace Doll sleep in the crib and are best friends”. Even though I have heard this before, I never tire from hearing it!

I am so blessed that I have the opportunity to visit with Grace each month. When I do, it fills my heart with joy. While at the Senior Center I have watched Grace many times as she speaks with others. It is clear that she brings a joy to everyone she meets. She speaks to people through the love that is bursting in her heart and I have never heard her speak a negative word. Her smile continues on her face until it’s time for me to leave. She hugs me and tells me how much she will miss me. Seeing Grace is bitter sweet for me. I am filled with joy at her presences but then am saddened at her facial expressions when I have to leave her.

Grace recently brought me a pair of crochet slippers she had made for me. She made them in my favorite color, pink! When she handed them to me I could not keep back my tears. I am not sure what is more valuable to me, the look of excitement on her face giving them to me or the gift itself. I told Grace how much I appreciated her wonderful gift. Her eyes lit up as if she had just given me a thousand pounds of gold, and it’s funny because that was exactly how I was feeling inside!

The slippers are in my cedar chest, at home, with all of my other prized possessions given to me by my friends. They will stay here along with a copy of this article to remind me always of Grace.

Grace is another perfect example of the people that are here making a difference in our world. She see’s life through those glasses I have previously spoken about, the glasses which I try and see through every day. When I have a bad day and am taken back by life’s troubles, I remind myself that these heartaches only last for a moment; they do pass as quickly as the come. I remind myself of my little friends that have taught me so much. This teaches me to be compassionate and when you have this, your world opens up and the fog is lifted from your sight.

It wasn’t until writing this article that I fully understood the expression on Grace’s face the day she gave me the slippers. I now know exactly how she felt because I

feel the same way knowing I am going to take her a copy of this article next month. I am so excited to share with her how I feel about her!

My experience with Grace has shown me why my mother loved Allan and Cevey so much. I laugh at myself because the answer is so simple and I could not see it before, the answer is; they loved her!

When people are able to express love without words, and are able to feel love without words, is when wonderful things start to grow in all of us. Put your glasses on and look around, it’s all around us; all you have to do is look!

A Special thanks to my mother, without you, I would have never been able to find my glasses!

Gates broke his neck a year ago in a snowboarding accident, leaving him paralyzed from the chest down.  Gates, a 20-year-old, Bountiful native and graduate of Woods Cross High School, has spent the last 14 months in hospitals, doctors’ offices and rehabilitation centers making remarkable strides in his quest for renewed independence.  The money Ben is raising will be donated to modify Gates’s vehicle so one day Gates will be able to drive himself.  Additional donations will be used to help offset costs of physical therapy.

Ben will start his adventure on June 11th, 2012 at 6am south of Kanab.  He expects to finish about two weeks later at the Idaho border.  Prior to planning this longboard trek, contact was made with the Utah Highway Patrol and UDOT; both agencies have been cooperative and helpful.  Ben will follow Old Highway 89, back roads, and bike paths. He will not be traveling on I-15.  Those helping Ben are contacting city officials in each town, in advance of Ben’s arrival, to encourage community support. Ben will be passing through Santaquin City on the evening of June 15.

“Ben initiated this all on his own.” Rick Smith, Ben’s Dad, said. “Rather than encouraging others to skateboard with him, Ben hopes people will come out to cheer him on, to learn about Gates, and to donate to help him.”  Donations are accepted on line at the website or in person.

People can track Ben’s progress and make donations at:  www.LongboardUtahforGates.com

Interested parties can sign up to receive updates regarding Ben’s progress along the route.  That way they can know when to step outside and cheer him on.

Ben should ride through Santaquin sometime in the evening on June 15. Follow him on LongboardUtahforGates.com

Kylie Jo Black was crowned as the new Miss Santaquin in front of a crowd of local support Saturday night in the Payson High School auditorium.

After a competition featuring three young ladies from the Santaquin area, Black was announced the winner. Her attendants are Brylee Biggs and Shelby Mortensen.

Black competed on a platform to help youth cope with anxiety problems, she herself having dealt with anxiety her whole life.

“I have my own anxiety, so I think if I give advice to those who need it that will help,” said Black after the pageant. “I had my dad give me advice, a lot of people don’t have that,  so giving advice will help.”

The evening pageantry had a throwback flavor throughout the night, with all three contestants performing classic numbers for the talent portion of the competition. Black, dressed in a 50s red-and-white polka-dot outfit, sang a rendition of the classic “It’s Oh So Quiet”, originally sung by Betty Hutton. Biggs donned a red flapper-style dress and danced a routine to the song “All That Jazz”. Mortensen performed a dance choreographed to the famous aria “Habanera” from the opera “Carmen”.

Mistress of Ceremonies for the night was Miss Duchesne 2012 Brittani Reinhardt, who will join Santaquin’s own 2012 queen Michaela Mecham next week at the Miss Utah Scholarship Pageant. Both queens performed the dance routines they will be competing with at the state pageant.

Miss Santaquin 2013 poses with Santaquin Mayor James DeGraffenried

In the interview portion of the pageant, the now- Miss Santaquin Kylie Jo Black, was asked what she felt was the biggest issue facing this generation.

“I think the biggest thing is drugs and alcohol at a young age,” said Black. “I think people are more focused on that than education and education is far more important.”

Surrounded by friends and family after the crowing, Black sad she was “overwhelmed, but happy” with her new role as a representative for Santaquin City. Mayor James DeGraffenried was in attendance as was Councilman Richard Payne and two former Miss Santaquin winners, Miss Santaquin 2011 Shelby Judd and Miss Santaquin 2009 Hannah (Goudy) Trevort.

Miss Santaquin 2013 Royalty | Center: Miss Santaquin Kylie Jo Black. Attendants: Left - Shelby Mortensen, Right - Brylee Biggs

When asked what she will be willing to do to help Santaquin become a better community, Black said, “As much as I can and anything I can.”

The breakfast, in its 11th year now, serves as the department’s fundraiser to purchase flags for the coffins of deceased firefighters and flowers for the wives of the firefighters.

They also donate money to the University of Utah Hospital’s Burn Center, where burn victims – firefighters included – are treated. This year they expect to donate more than $500 to the center.

Captain Jason Allsop organized the Memorial Day breakfast this year and was happy with the turnout. He thinks the breakfast is so popular in town because it brings the community together.

“Everybody sits and chats with their neighbors,” said Allsop. “It’s a good community social event.”

Captain Jesse Smith was in charge of buying the food for this year’s event. He said the department spends around $1300 on the food items. This year they went through 1200 pieces of sausage and 14 cases of hashbrowns.

A cotton candy booth was also set up outside of the fire house for those looking for a little dessert after breakfast.

Featuring auxiliary members from the Santaquin City area, the event was held in honor of those who have fallen to “protect our freedom”. Several speakers were chosen, including local residents Nel Morgan and Lance Wollebaek.

Morgan’s remarks centered around the Memorial Day tradition of the poppy, which is worn in memory of the servicemen and servicewomen who died in combat. According to Morgan the poppy was a flower that bloomed following a battle at Flander’s Field. The poem by Lt Col. McCrae “In Flander’s Field” was written during World War I and was the inspiration for the “remembrance poppy.”

“These poppies remind us of all who have served us,” said Morgan.

Military veteran Tracy Roberts of the U.S. Air Force and 419th Fighter Wing at Hill Air Force Base was in attendance to pay tribute. He shared what Memorial Day meant to him.

“Today’s a day that we can think of all those who have given the ultimate sacrifice so that we can be free,” said Roberts. “If we ever forget the price of freedom then we’re doomed to lose it.”

The event was part of Miss Santaquin 2011 Michaela Mecham’s platform for her Miss Utah bid this year: “Make a stronger youth for tomorrow by exercising today.” The race started and ended at Santaquin’s Centennial Park and all 43 participants crossed the finish line. Mecham was pleased with the turnout and said her goal with the event was to emphasize the importance of exercise to the youth.

“I was able to implement my platform and raise money at the same time,” said Mecham after the race. “I want kids to be more active, playing outside and having fun, so I did a 5k.”

After a study was conducted recently in the academic journal Pediatrics, national media has turned its attention to the high risk factors for diabetes and heart disease in obese and overweight children. Mecham’s platform to promote youth exercise comes at a time when more and more evidence is showing increasing obesity trends for the future.

Miss Santaquin Michaela Mecham poses with two young runners

Mecham recently visited two of Santaquin’s elementary schools to talk about exercising. She said she is encouraging youth to do practically anything active. “Even simple ways,” said Mecham. “Go outside and jump on your tramp, ride your bike; just do something simple that’s going to get you outside exercising other than sitting in front of the TV and playing video games.”

A little girl crosses the finish line at Miss Santaquin's 5k run

She believes parents should set the example for their kids by exercising with them in events like the 5k. She also says the kids themselves can be the example for their parents. Even in a small town like Santaquin, Mecham feels she can make a difference on the physical fitness front.

“Well, it starts here in your city,” said Mecham. “You’ve got to start within your family…get them strong.”

With the Miss Utah pageant less than a month away, Mecham has been busy raising money and executing her campaign. She said the 5k helped her raise enough money to go to the pageant on June 12 without having to pay any money out-of-pocket.

Mecham will also be preparing to hand down her crown to a new Miss Santaquin when the annual pageant takes place on June 9 at the Payson High School auditorium.

Miss Santaquin’s 5k race results:

First Place: Wyatt Ercanbrack, time: 23:24

Second Place: Kevin Mecham, time 23:56

Third Place: Bryce Mecham, time 26:45

As a young adult Rachel raised her family during the Great Depression and throughout World War 2.  Although she never spoke of her childhood to me, I knew that this is where her strength came from.

Rachel spoke only of her adult years as a mother and a wife. She did not give this information freely, like I said, it took many months for her to open up to me and when she finally did I saw a loving side that I had not imagine existed. It wasn’t until this moment that I understood there are many sides to love.

I used to think that love is love, the end. Not true!  Most people will agree that there is no love like a mother feels for her children. I agree with this. Rachel taught me there’s an equal side to love that is felt by women that are not physically bound to others. Meaning, women have the most unique, pure way of loving other human beings that they did not give birth to. This bond is just as strong as the love they feel for their biological children.  

Now, let me throw a wrench into this. Imagine for a moment  loving a child or a young adult as if you had given birth to them (men, you are off the hook here!). Now, imagine knowing they had severe mental disabilities and were living in unimaginable pain without any type of family support while going through gruesome treatments ordered by their doctors.  Now, here is the biggie…Imagine it’s the year 1940.  Hard to imagine? I am the first to say “Yes” and the first to buy a bus ticket out of that situation! But, it is real, I know because Rachel lived it.

Rachel was a superintendent’s wife at the Utah State Hospital. She raised her own children there while her husband worked. Rachel had an opportunity to interact with the patients that lived at the hospital; she chose to develop a love for those people. Her home was on the grounds but none of the patients were ever allowed to go onto her property. Rachel chose to know these people. She chose to treat them as if they were all of her own children; she treated them as if they were human and not sick. Doing this was a huge risk to Rachel. Many of these people were extremely violent and very sick. Every time she went to visit them, she ran the risk of being physically harmed. Despite this, she willing went anyway.
I am grateful for the opportunity to share a piece of Rachel’s’ story with you.

Many days I would sit in Rachel’s room and listen to the stories of her past. Many days I fought back tears of shame, as I related to the things she had seen. Shame because I knew in my heart that I was not like her. I did not approach people that were different than me. I was scared of what I may find. Although Rachel had many many memories to share with me over the years, there is one that changed me forever. One that will forever be branded in my heart and one that has been my teacher for the past eight years.

One day as I brought in breakfast to Rachel’s room she said, “I want to share something with you, I know you need this so please, sit down for a moment.” I wasn’t surprised because this was often Rachel’s way of saying, ‘we need to talk.’

I sat on her bed and she sat in her pink recliner by the window with her little pink afghan blanket draped over her lap.

“I want to tell you about the girl in the box,” she said.

I looked at her confused, “OK, Rachel.”

"The Box" where the girl was held | Courtesy of the USHHS

She began telling me the story of a night when she lived as Caretaker at the Utah State Hospital. She looked out her window and told me the story of the girl in the box. She never looked directly at me as she stared out her window as though she was remembering every minute of that night.

“One night I was asleep and I was awakened by a loud knocking at my front door,” she told me. “I jumped out of bed and raced to the door. I was afraid it was going to be someone sending me bad news about Owen, my husband, because he had been out of town. When I opened the door, it was one of the female caretakers. She said that the staff could not reach Dr.Heninger and they had a problem with one of the patients. The caretaker asked me if I would come up and help. I told her to give me a few minutes and I would be right up. I put on my house shoes and  house coat and left. When I got to the unit, I could see a young girl that had been locked in the box by the caretakers. I asked them why she was in that awful thing. They told me it was because she would not stop screaming and it was disturbing the other patients. I went over to the box and bent down to see this fragile, skinny little thing, cold and shivering. I quietly asked her, ‘Do you want out of this?’ the girl looked up at me and replied, ‘Please’.

“I stood straight up and marched into the caretaker’s room and demanded that they take her out of this wicked thing. The staff stood there looking at me like I was crazy!  Again, even louder, I demanded they take her out of the box immediately. After they unlocked the box, the girl stayed there. I told her she was free to come out but the girl said nothing. I tried for the longest time to get her to come out but she didn’t budge. I could not understand this. I ordered the staff to bring me her chart. I sat down next to the box on the floor and began reading the chart. The things I read about this child are things I have never spoken of. The things that this girl had gone through made me nauseous. I put the chart down and I lay next to her, in the box. The girl put her hand in mine. I asked the staff for a blanket to cover us both. I must have laid there for an hour before we both fell asleep.

“We were both awakened by the morning caretakers. Still holding her hand I helped her up and walked her back into her room where the other patients were getting up. I hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, ‘I will make sure you are never put in that box again.’
“When my husband returned, I told him what had happened. My husband never did condone this form of restraint. After that day, to my knowledge, the box was not used again.”

I sat there on Rachel’s bed with tears rolling down my cheeks. I told Rachel that I appreciated her sharing with me but I could not handle any more. Rachel then turned her head from the window and looked at me, I will never forget these words as long as I live.

“Charity,” said Rachel. “There are things more powerful than fear. You hold yourself back because you fear the unknown. By doing this, you put yourself in that box. I am telling you this because I am giving you the key to get out. It’s your choice.”  She then began to eat her now very cold breakfast and I got up and bent down to give her a hug before leaving her room.

Rachel's home | courtesy USHHS

One year to this exact date, Rachel passed away at the age of 101. I was there when she took her last breath. She was at peace, and to my amazement so was I.

The lesson I took from Rachel was that no human being should ever be made to feel different. We should never feel as though we are in a “box” closed off from the rest of the world. Sometimes we all need to step out of our comfort zone in order to see the light on the other side. I have taken what Rachel taught me and I have changed myself in order to make others around me feel accepted, loved and most of all, valued. It was not easy for me and it did not come quickly for me. We are all human and it’s easy to fall back into the fear we know. I learned from Rachel that it’s small steps, just like it took me small steps in getting her to open up.  I am so blessed to have known Rachel. I wish she was here so that I could tell her how that day in her room changed me forever. I would like to tell her how I have used it to help others but somehow, I think she already knows!
I would like to dedicate this article to all the women that are able to embrace the “other” side of love and share it with others, you are the true hero’s of the world and you are changing lives forever!  Thank you will never be enough.

Rachel Cannon Heninger 1903-2004

Photos courtesy of the Utah State Hospital Historical Society

Update May 15:

The judge has ruled against Shannon Price on the grounds that there was insufficient evidence to conclude that Price and Gary Coleman had been living as a married couple after their 2008 divorce. Follow-up story to come…

On Monday and Tuesday two women fought over former child star Gary Coleman’s estate in a Fourth District Court in Provo, two years after the former actor’s death.

According to reports by The Salt Lake Tribune and other major news outlets, Anna Gray, a friend and colleague of Coleman’s who acted as CEO of a corporation he formed, represented herself in court against Shannon Price.

Price, the “Diff’rent Strokes” star’s ex-wife, argued in court that she and Coleman had been living in a common-law marriage since their 2008 divorce. Gray claimed that she had been named as a beneficiary of Coleman’s in a 2005 will. After two days of trial, Judge James Taylor said he would issue a ruling on the case at a later date.

Coleman’s estate, according to Gray, has no monetary worth. Gray said she was concerned with protecting Coleman’s cremated remains and his future intellectual property. His Santaquin home has already been foreclosed on by lenders. Taylor’s ruling will give one of the two women control of Coleman’s entire estate.

Price and Coleman lived in Santaquin for several years following Coleman’s appearance in the movie “Church Ball”. During the trial some Santaquin residents were called upon to testify, among those mentioned in The Tribune’s reports was Coleman’s across-the-street neighbor Audra Wright who told the judge that Price and Coleman’s relationship was abusive.